Guys, myself and many of you have known this dynamic. I'd like to offer a pathway to RELEASE THE BLAME & PAIN...
It's an effortless pairing. The narcissist can't connect to their heart-space. It's a spectrum, actually. At the extreme end? That's what the DSM now terms "psychopaths," once known as sociopaths. You get the idea.
A narcissist is NATURALLY attracted to the hyper-generative heart spaces of an empath. Just as an EMPATH is NATURALLY impelled to embrace, merge with and heal The narcissist!
So... forgiveness? Seems impossible, right? I know. It did to me, too.
At the time, I was CRUSHED. I'd learned it was a fraud from the start. I'd become a MUTE, HUSK of my former self over 14 years together. Even still, I BEGGED him to stay for 6 months after separating!
My self-worth had diminished to NOTHING. I falsely believed he was my ONLY chance at love. That I was disgusting. No man would have me. That I was incapable of caring for myself and children on my own... that I would DIE alone!
No joke, I called my parents immediately. I DEMANDED they buy me a BURIAL PLOT! I was deadly serious, yet my father balked at our convo.
His perception wasn't broken. He believed I'd come home to myself again. That I'd EASILY find a partner. But hearing my gravely distorted top priority? Yeah. It upset him.
BUT. Here's the thing... I knew I wanted to live in FREEDOM. I did NOT want to die still AFRAID. Still emotionally living under his thumb.
So I'd say to myself, what's the point of this divorce, anyways? It had prompted my DARKEST Night of the Soul to date, so shouldn't I get to feel FREE? At LEAST?
And this logical self-talk is what OPENED THE DOOR to FORGIVENESS. All that's needed? Is a mustard-seed of openess...
God/Source/Love and your guides (who are energetically-expanded expressions of YOU) will ROAR at your back when you consider anything like FORGIVENESS...
My beloved spiritual teacher, Pamela Aaralyn, says this about the empath-narcissist dynamic:
It reflects "humanity's deeper, collective epidemics of shame, unworthiness, abandonment and lack of self love, which then results in the overall belief, 'Source is against me'."
Ouch, right? Time for deeper self-love and acceptance. And for a deeper sense of UNION with God/Source/Love.
By now? You know what I believe... that YOU ARE GOD. Temporarily embodied and unaware. It's time to REMEMBER that you and God are One in the same!
So, try this... try stating in meditation, prayer, upon awakening and as you drift to sleep,"God/Source/Love, THANK YOU for the willingness to consider forgiveness. I am GRATEFUL. I am FREE."
I promise. You CAN live FREE. And with a whole and healed SELF-ESTEEM. It took me 4 years, but I've never embarked on ANY more worthwhile spiritual journey. EVER.
And you can, too... however slowly or painfully, KNOW that you ARE GRACE ITSELF. You are GOD! And you can't HELP but return to LOVE!
If you'd like to learn more watch my video How to Forgive Anyone